Something Likely to Happen where I live...

"Hello, is this here the sheriff's office?"

"Yes. What can I do for you?"

"I'm calling to report my neighbor, Virgil Smith. He's drillin' holes in his farwood and hiding marijuana inside!"

"Thank you very much for the call, sir."


The next day, the sheriff & his deputies descend on Virgil's house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they split every piece of wood, but find no marijuana. They sneer at Virgil Smith and leave.


The phone rings at Virgil's house. "Hey, Virgil! This here is Floyd. Did the sheriff come?"

"Yeah!"

"Did they split yer farwood?"

"Yep!"

"Happy Birthday, buddy!"

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Welcome to Redneck Country where we know how to use our resources real good!

No american loving redkneck is gonna let his tax dollars go to waste on donut eating, coffee drinking, fat boys- no sir! We gonna keep 'em in shape those boys of ours!

Did you get that email too?
Quit forwarding yer damned emails to me!

Git yer own blog!
[To 'git cher own damned blog' simply scroll up to the top of this page to the tan line up there and click on the little button that says...

"GET YOUR OWN BLOG" It really is rather simple. You can do it. Post all those emails that you think are so funny that you just HAVE to share, share them there- not in my email box. Thank you kindly, m'am.]